3 Reasons Why I Accidentally Forget Hanukkah Every Year
I am embarrassed to admit that once again, I let Hanukkah slip by this year. I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle with planning and using a calendar — but I also know that a “memory lapse” and poor planning simply cannot account for all of it.
So, I am forced to ask myself the question — as someone who has Jewish lineage going back thousands of years, how is it that I never can seem to remember the arrival of this annual Jewish holiday?
Here are the top 3 reasons why I believe that I still forget Hanukkah almost every year:
1.) I live in a Christian nation
Let’s face it — separation of Church and State is is a myth.
“In [Christian] God We Trust.” … “One nation, under [Christian] God.” … “[Christian] God Bless America…”
While it is easy to say that America is now inclusive of many religions — our schools, government, and the corporate sector still almost all structure their culture and the calendar year around Christian holidays.
Department stores are full of Christmas décor, homes are covered in lights and nativity scenes, Christmas commercials abound on television, and multiple radio stations begin blasting Christmas music starting in early November. In other words, I wouldn’t be able to forget Christmas even if I wanted to.
Yet each year, outside of predominately Jewish neighborhoods — many of which still observe the sabbath on Saturdays, Hanukkah seems to come and go with a whisper. A mention from a relative, a shout-out on social media, or a single store shelf with a few novelty items are typically about the only reminders I get.
2.) Anti-Semitism is normal
We live in a society riddled with anti-Semitism. For most of history, my ancestors have been forced to hide their beliefs for their own safety. Some relatives in my family even went so far as changing their last name simply to avoid recognition/persecution.
We are currently witnessing yet another surge of Jewish hatred that makes it easy not to want to publicly display a part of myself that can potentially elicit fear, hate, and hostility.
However, it’s not just blatant anti-Semitism that’s a problem. As author David Baddiel argues it in his book, Jews Don’t Count, even “polite society treats anti-Semitism as a semi-acceptable form of prejudice …” with a number of folks on the progressive-left tolerating, ignoring, or even producing it by targeting the “elite Jews” in charge.
After multiple generations of hiding Judaism from the world, it has become almost second-nature to hide it even from myself.
3.) The Jew“ish” Phenomena
Many millennial Jews, like me, are admittedly no longer practicing Jews. We often refer to ourselves as culturally Jewish —or simply just Jew“ish” (i.e. kind of Jewish)— meaning we appreciate, among other things, our history, the stories, the food, the quirks, and of course, Jewish humor.
While many of us celebrated the Jewish holidays growing up — we no longer go to temple and many of the religious parts of Judaism simply do not resonate with us.
However, we also do not dismiss the hardship and sacrifice that our ancestors went through simply for us to even be here. For that reason — many of us still hold onto our roots and even pass them on to our children.
Today, Judaism in America remains tolerated at best. To say that it is celebrated would be grossly inaccurate. Consequently, it takes concerted effort on the part of those who are Jewish to remember our holidays, our cultures, our history, and our identities.
Remembering Hanukkah is something I can work toward — but being fully accepted as Jewish will likely not happen during my lifetime.
